


The Notorious Take Down Of Princess Ouma

by JapanbyTotoro



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Crossdressing, F/F, F/M, Hurrr durr lmao, Lies, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Oblivious Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi Is a Little Shit, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Prince Saihara Shuichi, Princes & Princesses, Princess Akamatsu Kaede, Royalty, Secret Identity, Significantly less Morally Grey Oma Kokichi, Simultaneously Observant and Oblivious Oma Kokichi, Slow Burn, Theyre all at least 18, like at some points in the story you just want to beat the fuck out of him, only adding because my taste in scenes like is quite descriptive, that graphic violence tag is a bit misleading, there’s some murder and violence but not until wayyyyyyy later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:33:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27670730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JapanbyTotoro/pseuds/JapanbyTotoro
Summary: Kokichi Ouma’s first failed heist plan ends him up lying to a den full of lions. With his limited knowledge on royalty in hand, he is forced to play the role of a bratty young woman desperate to earn Prince Saihara’s hand in marriage from a wealthy kingdom faraway.But when he learns more about him, he can’t help to stay longer then expected.(Heavily based on Aryll’s royalty AU)
Relationships: Celestia Ludenberg & Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi & DICE, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	The Notorious Take Down Of Princess Ouma

**Author's Note:**

> Before we start, I just wanted to say that this fic is incredibly self indulgent and simply for my own pleasure. This will become quite obvious as the story continues.
> 
> ALSO this is a post first fix later fic so there’s going to be a lot of grammar mistakes and whatnot.

The phrase "Are you lying?" Is something said to him quite often.

The first time he heard it, he couldn't be any older then 7. He was starving, you could see the bones sticking from his scrawny body and the dirt smudged behind his ears. He constantly shook with worry and fear as strangers pass by him on the streets without a second glance.

He had wandered into a bakery out of instinct, drawn in by the smell. It was close to closing. The owner looked him up and down, and seemed to be seconds from kicking the boy out. Kokichi, couldn't let that happen.

He quickly spurred an excuse in seconds, letting it pour from his lips.

"There's a f-fire down the s-s-street sir! I was coming in to tell you, they need man power to help pu—put it out..!"

Kokichi remembered tears welling up in his eyes, as he shifted in place. The baker raised his eyebrow and asked the dreaded question.

"Are you lying?"

Kokichi then shook his head frantically, unable to sit still as anxiety tipped over. It wasn't a complete lie. He saw a small skyline of smoke in the distance that looked too wild to be a controlled flame. But the lie seemed to burn into his lips like a scar.

As soon as the baker left in a hurry, he grabbed as much bread as physically possible for his small body. Pastries with a large price tag was free and up for grabs as he scrambled for more. Finally, he bolted out the door, only hearing exclaims from the bystanders outside who saw him.

After that, lies became swift and easy. He lied like his life depended on it. Studying people, looking for the exact thing he knew they'd be most effected by. A single mother? Pull on her heartstrings by acting as childish as possible. A royal guard? Simply praise him, and inflate his obnoxious ego enough so he doesn't notice the man behind him you bribed to pickpocket.

Kokichi was never a narcissistic person, far from it actually. But he can proudly say he was probably the best criminal in the entire capital. Not in scale of crime, all he did was commit petty theft. No, he was the best in the amount he did alone.

Everyday he stole. Even when his stomach was full, his hands itched for the thrill of "accidentally" bumping into a clueless person, leaving with their coin pouch in hand. He wasn't rich. He couldn't afford a home, or enough clothes to work at a nearby store. Every house in the city was expensive, and every carriage that went out of town was pricy. Kokichi has gluttonous mouth to feed, and urges to be pampered. He didn't want to leave this thief life behind anyways for some mundane career in being a merchant.

He was a proud liar, he knew his limits.

So that's why he couldn't help but to feel threatened by the knife pointed directly at his throat with his back pressed against the wall.

"Are you lying to me you fucking punk?" The man spoke those familiar words as he pushed the knife closer. Spit was splattered on his cheek, which he quickly wiped off. The action seemed to piss him off more.

"Me? Lying?" He said with sugar sweetness in his tone, giving into his fate of having to stall for help.

"Yes you, fucking idiot," He snapped, "Where the hell is my fucking money?"

Kokichi felt a tug at his lips, and to his better judgement, he indulged his adrenaline addiction.

"Oh, I'm so sorry sir! I used it to fund my super evil secret organization, it's all gone....! Sorry, but no take backs! I spent all of it," Not a complete lie, he did say that there wasn't going to be any refunds.

"You little-" He swiftly grabbed his collar a yanked him higher to his level, "Don't you know what position you're in? I could get away with killing you right now, no consequences."

"Trust me, I'd be plenty more scared if it weren't for my maaaaasive army coming to save me right now!" The man's eyes widened for a split second before narrowing into slits.

"Do you think this is some kind of joke?"

He bit back his response. He wasn't idiotic enough to press salt into the wound. Before the knife was swung back one last time, most likely aimed at his cheek for a threatening action, the man's body fell onto the alleyway's ground. His feet unceremoniously touched the ground along with it.

Ah, here comes his Calvary.

He felt his cheeks turn upwards at the woman standing in front of him with a disgruntled expression.

"Queenie!" He crowed, the mocking nick name dancing on his tongue as he stepped over the man's unconscious body.

"Ouma," She responded with far less enthusiasm before crossing her arms. Despite this, he still skipped to her side, "I thought we decided that trying anything this close to the ball was basically a death wish."

He hummed, placing a finger on his lips in fake contemplation.

"Eh? You figured me out already?" He said letting his eyes widen to a hyperbolic point, "Are you suggesting...that I am lying to somebody like you?"

Before she could respond with a snippy comment, he let the fake crocodile tears pour down his cheeks.

"WAHHHHHHH!!!" He screeched, forcing his nose to the air and profusely wiped it. Queen simply looked disgruntled before a small but noticeable grin etched her lips.

"Don't give me that," She tilted her head, "I know what your real tears look like, and they aren't that pretty,"

Kokichi hid his grimace with a pout.

He stopped and let his face blank when she turned away from him, walking towards Main Street, her slow stride clearly a sign for him to catch up.

He was lucky she didn't live here, or else comments like that would've got to him a lot more.

He trailed after them, quickly sweeping up his thoughts and pushing them behind his back as the shade of the buildings towering over them grazed their vision.

Main street was crowded, obnoxiously so. It's probably the most popular shopping area in the capital. It was huge, yet the prices of everything seemed reasonable unlike other places marketed towards the higher class.

It was easy to set up a small stand and get a permit for a place like this. Due to that, many people of various social stances gathered in clumps across the many services available.

However, it was probably one of the more dangerous parts as well.

It was not because of the bars that were next to every other store or even the tacky tourist traps that seemed to grabbed the attention of many.

The most dangerous part of Main Street, was a small, dainty tailor shop on the far end, ran by a woman Kokichi knew quite well.

"Ouma, don't think I didn't see that," Queen mumbled, tugging him away from a sweets cart, "You can't just steal from random places in public like that, you weren't even subtle."

Kokichi ignored her, quickly stuffing the sweet down his mouth before anybody noticed. The dark, almost bitter chocolate was unpleasant before he bit into the carmel center. As the richtaste flooded his mouth, he began playing around with the sudden flavor with the edge of his tongue.

"Are you alright? It seems like he could've done a number on you before I got there."

"How's Jack doing? Or Braids? Pigtails? I haven't seen them around town for a while."

"Did you skip a meal again today? You look too skinny."

Kokichi grunted, and rolled his eyes profusely.

"It's always questions with you. So damn annoying," He replied in a sing song tone, ignoring the slight warmth blooming in his chest at the thought of somebody caring for him.

Queen didn't respond. She simply shook her head in almost disappointment before trudging head down the street.

After a few short strides from her and plenty more from Kokichi, they both stood in front of the tastefully decorated store. Pressing his nose against the glass, he peered at the display window with a studying steady gaze.

"Are you sure this is a great idea? You could've just borrowed something from me or stole from some merchant," She said cooly but with slight worry in her voice, "It might not be enough for you to pass off as a high noble, but I'm sure you can reach the treasury under the guise of a servant."

"Trust me. My plan is full proof."

"So full proof that you needed your strongest member to escort you?"

"Yup!" He crowed slapping her back with a grin. She flinched before leaning her rigid body against the brick wall of the store.

"Didn't she say she was going to skin and strip you bare before hanging you on town square's flagpole if you showed your face near her?" Ouma rolled his eyes.

"Again, you ask too many questions," He pulled away from the window, raising a curved eyebrow.

"Now wait here! You know the signal," He eyed Queen with fake animosity before practically slamming open the door of Ludenburg Tailoring.

————————-

The woman behind the counter looked up, her crimson red eyes narrowing immediately at his sudden and clumsy entrance. She snapped shut the book she was inspecting onto the table, before a fake sugary sweet smile peeled at her lips.

"Ouma. It's good to see you again," She purred, her voice full of annoyance and venom. Kokichi smiled back, skipping towards her.

"Hiya your majesty!" He replied with equal force, though letting his body move much more languidly, "I'm here to place a commission—"

"My my, don't get ahead of yourself," She tilted her head, her hands now propped up to her chin, "May I remind you of my new policy? Or did you forget?"

Kokichi most definitely did not forget, his last visit was more then memorable.

Instead, he put his finger in his lips, pretending to try remembering the newest rule.

"I've seem to have f—"

"Then I shall tell you one last time."

Celeste jerked forward suddenly, her entire body lurched across the barrier between the two as a sharp sliver sparkle caught his eye. Her finger looked to be cased with a prosthetic of sorts, appearing to act as a mock structure to keep it up. The dangerously sharp tip was edging towards Kokichi's eyes, making him slightly wince on instinct.

"I refuse to serve anymore criminals any longer. The last thing I need is my business to be associated with such scum. The authorities are suspecting me enough," She hissed, somehow nearing closer to his face.

"If you want me to tailor you some form of disguise for some bloody heist you have planned, I want nothing of it. Even if a scrap of cloth is found at the crime scene, it can be traced to me."

The words poured forth from her lips before she pulled back, replacing her anger with the same plastic smile as before.

"Please leave now. Hiding a body would be more then troublesome," She made a shooing motion with her hand. Kokichi squinted, noticing the slight hesitation in the action.

"Ah...Shame," He said slowly, "Is there anyway I can.....Temporarily rid that rule?"

"I'm afraid not," She took in the front part of her cropped hair, twirling it around with her fingers, "No amount of money you can give me can rid this rule. My other 'job' pays me more then enough now for a life style like mine."

He hid the urge to frown. Of course it was paying great. She was the best gambler in town. An illegal one, sure. But one none the less.

During her games, she dressed up like royalty. With a short cut frilly dress and various jewelry adorning her crown, Celeste even completed her alternate persona with two long spinning drills of hair. It was a incredible transition, from the short haired seemingly sweet minded peasant she normally took when running her store.

But her persona didn't hide every single thing from him. Nobody like Kokichi would come up with such a half assed plan before barreling into unknown territory.

He quickly sagged, his eyebrows creasing inwards. A heavy frown sinked to his lips before he said anything.

"Awwww....That sucks! I really wanted a cool outfit from my best friend...." He trailed off before planting his hands to his hips, "My best friend Taeko Yasuhiro!"

He crowed the name as loud as he could without screaming it. While he couldn't see it, he knew his volume was enough for a nearby pedestrian to peer in with confusion.

He observed smugly as Celeste's expression turned from fake politeness, surprise, to sudden seething rage.

Kokichi held back a yelp as he was yanked forward inches from her face by the collar.

"H-How did you—" She sputtered, gripping the edge of the counter with her other hand, "Y-Y-You..."

"You shouldn't sign your diaries with your real name Tae Tae," He smirked at the newfound nickname, watching her face twist further, "If some random criminal waltzed in and simply took a glance, they could ruin everything you've been working for!"

Her quick breaths that brushed against his face seemed to even out slowly. Celeste's bottom lip seemed to quiver, either in even more rage or maybe humiliation. She inwardly sighed before speaking again. Her hand unhooked from his neck, leaving a small hole in his scarf.

"I-I see," She trailed off, "So that's how you got it."

"Mmmhm," He leaned on the back of his heels. She furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, as if she was having a debate with herself.

Finally, her prefect posture seemed to sag as she came up with her conclusion.

"Fine," She shook her head, "You win. Brat."

He let out a silent cheer of victory.

She looked him up and down. Her eyes seemingly analyzing the curves of his form underneath his baggy attire.

"So what do you want from me this time? A new tunic? Coat? Perhaps another cape?" She listed off the items, all common orders from him.

"Nonon," He mockingly waggled his finger, "I'm going to try something new! Your taste in that stuff is so lame...It's amazing how you even sold that shit without me!"

Celeste crossed her arms, clearly immune to his insults by now, "Fine then. I'm up for whatever you need."

He wasn't lying completely. Again, the current shirt and pants he was wearing was certainly high quality, lasting him months on end with extreme runaways and even more extreme winters. But he did noticed that those outfits severely lacked in care that he knew she put into a specific article of clothing.

"How about you make me a dress like the ones in the display window?"

After a long, treacherous week later, he finally left the shop with the intricate item in hand.

————-

He knew he looked damn amazing, almost comically so. If he loved his original appearance more, then perhaps he could appreciate it from a different perspective.

But looking at his reflection aloud him to give a wide, cynical smirk.

"Lookin hot boss!" Pigtails crowed from behind him, her feet bouncing against the planks beneath her. Kokichi gave her a smug smile before whipping around with a flourish.

The members in the room all clapped, cheering excitedly. Even Queen let a small relaxed smile escape from her otherwise monotone expression. He watched as Jack pumped his fist in the air, the blonde goatee jostling from underneath his mask.

"How did ya even get Ms. Drill Head to make you 'sum thing so gorgeous?" The man asked, his hands hovering over the gem studded folds of the hoop skirt. Kokichi tsked, yanking the swirling fabrics away from his hands.

"No peasant scum shall touch my gorgeous attire," He posed his nose in the air, crown tilting downward towards his nose. The room bursted in laughter, practically doubling over as he continued to mockingly pose.

"D-do an impression—HAH—" Pigtails couldn't even finish her request before collapsing against the nearest wall, clutching her stomach, "GOD—Ouma please, you're gonna make me piss!"

Braids scrunched her nose up.

"You're always about to piss."

"And I've never seen you go to the restroom, do you even eat?"

Spikes chimed in. "Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen lil wallflower over there take a dump before!"

"We should stake out or something in her house tonight, we can study her in action!" Pigtails continued, putting her arm around the girl with a devilish grin.

"You're all disgusting."

Kokichi didn't bother to hide his warm smile as he listened to the small group banter, eventually clumping away in conversations.

It was a party of sorts, a celebration of what was to come. All of his members gathered in his inn room, squished in an area barely enough for 2 people to live in. Despite this, it was awfully expensive for just a single night.

Yet the scrunched claustrophobic feel that normally clawed at his throat in rooms like this melted with every word delicately poured form their mouths.

It also probably helped that they kept a decent distance away from him due to the massive dress beneath him. As they were distracted, Ouma began to strip off the obnoxious layers of clothing as gently as possible.

After a few more long moments of chatter, he cleared his throat. The entire group shushed down immediately as he slowly untied the impossibly tight corset trapped around his waist.

"As you may know, tomorrow is the biggest ever heist I have ever done!" The boy fidgeted along his back, finally pulling the knot that was choking his sides, "And I want to say something before your amazing talented leader gets rests for the big day tomorrow..."

He trailed off for dramatic effect, watching and meeting every stare from all 9 members.

"I will conquer this kingdom," Kokichi shrugged his shoulders as the tank top underneath the accessory loosened, "And make the prince fall in love me! And enslave all those pesky royals...."

"Queen Kokichi Ouma!" They cheered once more, though with much more somberness then before.

After a few more chants, he shook his head.

"I'm tired now. Team dispatched! Wish your amazing future millionaire good luck!" They all stood up from their seats from various furniture of the room and stumbled out the door. Every single one lowered their head in some strange form of respect. Tubs was the last to leave, smacking his back hard enough to probably bruise.

Everyone was gone. Expect for one person. He adjusted the strap of his shirt of his shoulder. He pretended to not notice her obvious staring from his bed, and instead focused on the grooves of the wardrobe a few feet away.

"I knew you got the dress from Ludenburg, but where did you get the wig?" He tugged his bangs back at her words.

"Also from Ludenburg."

"I thought she just did clothing?"

"You'd be right," Kokichi smirked and made a scissor motion with his fingers. She rolled her eyes.

Queen opened her mouth to speak again before being swiftly interrupted.

"You can't convince me against this you know," He trailed off. Kokichi was intending for his words to sound playful, but it came off much drier then expected.

"I can try."

"It won't work, and I have a feeling you know that~" He replied, crossing his legs. The two faux hair extensions bounced against his ears as he shook in head in mock disappointment.

"Infiltrating a royal castle during a major event where security is at its highest is dangerous. Especially if you plan on staying longer."

He threaded his hands against his scalp, searching for the starting pin of the extensions.

"Hm? Did you actually believe me when I said I was going to try and seduce the prince? Do you actually think I can become a queen with that many lies?" Kokichi fluttered his eyelashes, resting his chin on his fingers after removing the longs strands away, "Besides, that prince from what we know isn't even going to get married off till he's like 20. Dont ya think?"

"You know what I mean, Ouma," Queen looked away, her eyes glazed, "You've already told me those plans of yours. It's fairly simple. Almost too simple. You're planning something more."

"Oh?" He tilted his head, "I wasn't informed of this, I'm pretty sure it's just a simple grab and go, no?"

"Is it really? Something tells me that joke of yours is not completely a joke."

She as the only one that didn't wear a mask, so it was quite easy to gauge her true emotions. The tight frown was enough to read them. Kokichi decided not to comment on it.

"You caught me! I totally was going to make sweeeeeeet angelic love to the prince," He flicked a loose hair away from his bangs, "Absolutely."

She didn't let up her glare.

"Fine. You're partially right. I'm not just going to grab a bag full of treasure and stumble off."

Kokichi folded his hands in his lap.

"I'm going to get intel from within the walls about you know what."

"You're an idiot if you think a pretty dress and a smile is going to suddenly to serve you as answers on a sliver platter. The fact you're posing as a princess instead of a prince is already a risk."

He gasped in fake offense, "You think I can't pull off crossdressing?"

"No, you actually can quite well. That's far from my point," She narrowed her eyes, "It's a traditional family. If a princess wanders up to the ball interrogating everyone about political means—You'd stick out like a sore thumb for sure."

She seemed to be working herself up at this point, her shoulders slowly raising.

"And that thing you made Ludenburg create. It's so obnoxious and out of place. Checkered fabric? Bright childish colors? Do you realize how easily people will realize you left the ball room?"

"Did you know purple dye is actually the most expensive kind out there?" He ignored the red faced women in front of him in favor for his nails, "That's the main reason why I picked it."

"So you making yourself seem wealthy?! You're talking nothing but nonsense. What if the king or something scopes you out for some form of deal? Or even worse, tried to negotiate a marriage?"

He shrugged, "Then I guess I get a super hot prince boyfriend."

"Don't you understand—"

"If you think it's so stupid, why don't you stop me?"

Queen flinched.

"Oh wait, you're leaving tomorrow."

Her fingers grazed her lips as her teeth bit down into them. Kokichi waited for another reaction but got nothing else in return.

"My offer still stands you know. You don't have to do this."

"I'm aware. But I don't care. And I'm not going to take it."

"It'll always be open to you Kokichi. No matter what. Okay?"

"Mmhmm."

They both didn't say anything. The pregnant silence was overbearing. Queen simply stood up and paced herself to the door, seemingly cutting through the atmosphere.

She stood beside him, eyeing the extravagant dress that now laid beside him in a messy fold.

Finally, one of them spoke.

"I'll miss you Ouma."

Before he could respond, she interpreted.

"And they will too if you get caught."

Queen finally left the room.

The only evidence that an entire gaggle of people were there not a few minutes ago was the slightly shifted desk.

He stared at the reflection before him. Kokichi weakly picked at the scab behind his ear, and let a soft grunt when the stinging feeling from his sides vanished.

Gripping the wooden edges, he pushed himself up and observed his rigid posture. Tension eased out of his body as he stood up.

Tomorrow was the night of the annual ball. An event where royalty and high class people from across the lands came and kissed the ass of the Saihara family.

It was also the night where he would rob the treasury, under the guise of an innocent bratty princess. He might even find some sweets or something. Maybe even start a fight among the rich bastards.

But the main goal was one thing.

He had to find out if the rumors were true.

He smirked, ignoring the slight tension growing across his body from Queen's words, and how his fingers began to twitch with energy.

Kokichi with one final once over at his himself, prepared for sleep.


End file.
